Never underestimate the power of your tongue, those negative words you blurt out when you are furious can cause a lot of emotional damage to your kids. Your kids will annoy you, frustrate you, ask thousands of questions a day and repeat the same mistakes. The last thing you want to do is saying hurtful words that can leave a scar in their minds for life.
Your Children will push you to your breaking point, it is your job to think first before reacting or uttering harsh words unknowingly. If you want to ensure your kids grow up smart, confident, happy with high self-esteem, be careful not to say the following:
"You're so dramatic."
Your kids are only just trying to express themselves to the best of their knowledge, calling them “dramatic” can lead to low self-esteem. Imagine feeling good about what you love doing and someone commenting that “you are just too much”. It’s not fair to bring people down when they are just trying to make themselves happy. These words cause a lot of damage to their self-esteem and they begin to get conscious of themselves when around their peers just to make sure they don’t act dramatic.
"I wish you'd never been born."
Blaming your kids for your shortcomings is not a nice thing to do. Your kids are not to blame for anything, even if you weren’t ready to have a child at that point. Never utter those words because it will live rent-free in their heads forever.
No matter how frustrated you are with your child, it's totally unacceptable to go as far as telling them that you wish they hadn't been born. Your child will always feel like a mistake like they were never meant to come into this world. Whenever you feel the urge to say this, leave the room, try to calm down and think things through…a child is the best thing that can happen in your life.
"Why can't you be more like your sibling?"
No one likes to be compared with another person, especially when the older sibling is being compared to a younger one. Your kids are different and even if they grow up in the same environment, they will grow up to be different people, with different interests and behaviours. Comparing your kids hardly ever makes a difference, it just makes the other feel as they will never be good enough and this could create enmity amongst your kids. A better way to do things is to talk about lessons learnt from each other. Every child is unique in their own way, don’t try to bring anyone down.
“I don’t have time right now”
Parents who say this to their kids are surprised when their kids stay in their rooms for long hours without coming out. If mom is busy, dad shouldn’t be. Your kids are the most important people in your life, you shouldn’t be too busy for them. Spare a minute or two when your kids need your attention. If you always make time to listen, your child will be free to tell you anything and everything.
"Don't be a baby"
Your child is a baby, please your child is a baby, do not enforce maturity on anyone. I understand you want some level of maturity as they grow but maturity doesn’t come with age but experience. Saying things like this can make your child conscious of their behavior. Teach your child how to behave, act right, respect people, speak for themselves and stand up for their rights.
"Why can't you do anything right?"
Well, it can be frustrating when you’ve explained something over and over and your child still doesn’t get it right. Kids have different levels of learning and some will learn faster than others. Withdraw from saying harsh words that can hurt your child’s feelings.
"I don't believe you."
“I don’t believe you” is the same thing as saying “you are a liar” Your kids will always think you won’t believe them even when they are saying the truth. Except you know your child is a liar, you should always give the benefit of doubt and try to hear their side of the story. When you give a listening ear and show some sort of trust, your child gets comfortable with opening up to you.
“I don’t think you can do it”
You are your kid’s biggest fan and your child needs your support always. Even if you feel the task is too hard or their dreams are far too unrealistic, the least you can do is to give words of encouragement. Knowing someone supports and believes in their dreams gives courage, motivation and inspiration.
Why didn’t you get an A?”
An effort was made, appreciate that first. Not every child will get all A’s, not every child will be book smart. You shouldn’t judge your kids by grades but by the willingness to learn more, do better, and accept their flaws.
You Are Too Young To Know What You Want
Uttering this statement will just end up making your kids doubt themselves and their choices. Every human has the right to make his own choice. You can only advise on what’s right or what’s best.